23 1 / 2011
Soul mates exist
Today my family got into a debate about love, marriage, soul mates and parents. Yeah, we’re weird. Anyway, my cynical brother said something about spouses being replaceable and I knew that to be untrue. Because my grandparents marriage showed me. Every day.
When we were young, and before we understood the concept of arranged marriage, we asked my grandpa how he met and married granny.
He told us how he saved her from lions in the jungle and how she begged her to marry him, and because he was such a good guy he couldn’t refuse her and then they fell in love.
It obviously didn’t happen this way but it didn’t mean it wasn’t true; they truly and utterly loved one another. It was in everything they did.
The way he brought her a big box of chocolates every single month because he couldn’t remember when her birthday was and he didn’t want to miss it. And then make all the children/grandchildren sing happy birthday to her.
Or the way she would cook massive feasts so he could invite over his friends anytime he wanted.
Or how he would serenade her everyday with songs he made up or the books full of poetry he wrote her and sing until she became embarrassed.Even when they had guests over. Even when it was highly inappropriate.
Or how she gave up her country and being near her family and friends to move to a cold, damp country just to be with him.
Or the way he grew vegetables in his beautiful garden just because she loved them and so she could have then anytime she wanted.
Or the way she never once complained at the fact he often woke her up at 3AM because he felt like reading out loud.
Or just how he loved her company and would spend hours by her side.
But mostly it’s in the way he cried when she didn’t visit him in hospital because he thought she had left him. She hadn’t; it was because she was admitted into hospital too and telling grandpa that would have made him worse.
And when grandpa finally became too ill, and got dementia he forgot EVERYONE else except her. Not once did he forget granny. He asked about her every day, waiting impatiently for visiting hours just to see her. He begged everyone to look after her once he was gone. He would joke about the house they would share in heaven and who would get there first.
And when he died, while the rest of us bawled and freaked out, granny sat crying quietly beside him, never looking away from him and mourned him with grace because that’s what he had asked of her. And she would do whatever he wanted her to, even after he passed away.
So yeah, I believe in soul mates because that’s exactly what my grandparents were. They loved, teased, confided, supported and believed in each other. And it’s the kind of relationship that can’t be replaced, no matter what my brother says.
